You Might Be A Racist If...

There have been a lot of racially charged stories in the news lately, and with them comes the type of indignant comments made by people who are really upset that it is becoming less and less socially acceptable to be a fucking racist. More or less, I always hear shit like this (Please use your most indignant, butt-hurt, exaggeratory voice when reading the italicized words):

"Oh well if a white person said/did that, everyone would be all mad, but because a black/Mexican person did, we're not allowed to say anything."

I'm sure you hear garbage like this all the time. Maybe you even say it. Hell, maybe you even believe it. This statement is the kind of pushback you get when you back a racist into a corner, a kind of emotionally vomitous expellant inanely spewed by people who honestly believe that they, and I'm talking about white males age 18-35 here, are themselves discriminated against in our society. That somehow their ability to criticize things that are legitimately unjust is so beset on all sides by a hypersensitive, over reactive populace that they are powerless to point out the myriad evils to which the rest of us compulsively turn a blind eye. Well, frankly, that's bullshit, and to prove it, I don't have to go back more than 48 hours into the news cycle.

You see, at one time, the object of the news networks may well have been to report the news. I can't really confirm or deny this, as it certainly hasn't been the case for as long as I have personally been able to understand what the fake-looking people on the TV have been saying. With increasing gall, the uniform goal, the all-encompassing singularity to which all news network now aspire is none other than complete dominance of the ratings. The programs are engineered to whip the viewer into a frenzy, to incite rather than to inform. "Everyone look! Ridiculous sideshow presidential candidate #1 is about to say something! Now he is saying it! He just said it! Now let's bring a panel of 27 commentators to endlessly rehash and reinterpret the fairly simple and straightforward message that the average sixth grader should be able to understand." I myself am a victim of this, drawn into stories that I know with all my heart that I should not give one fuck about. But it's got everything: the anticipation of something important about to happen, the good guys (left or right), the bad guys (left or right), the legitimization of even the most insane cabin-in-the-woods apocalypse fearing fringe group's agenda, birthers, death panels, war on women, war on religion (while the effects of the real war are hidden), election races that last years, all attempting to elicit as much raw emotion as possible from as many people as possible. I used to think it demonstrated some kind of culture or intelligence to be informed as to what was going on in the country, but now I think it may be driving us to collective madness. The reason is that less than half of what we think is happening is actually happening, and we're not even seeing half of the real stuff. Now, there's no laws being debated, there's only threats to our way of life, or wars on whatever group of people. The President is somehow a dictator, a fascist, a socialist, a communist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant all at the same time. The media legitimizes every ridiculous claim simply by covering them, while real abuses of power go undiscussed or fade quickly from the public conversation. And the media fuels it all in the name of ratings.

The point of this tangent being, then, that one would have to have a very particular and predisposed worldview to possibly conceive the fact that the media and society in general specifically target only controversial remarks made by white men. To the contrary, they dredge up and pull to the forefront any sensational comments regardless of the source as long as they can be offered up to the golden idol of ratings. After all, when there's blood in the water, its always the same color. The example I alluded to earlier to counter this absurdity happened earlier this week, when the manager of the Marlins, a Venezuelan, was suspended for five games for saying on the record that he admires Fidel Castro. His comments, which in my opinion are hardly worth a controversy considering that Che Guevarra shirts are a popular fad in this country and that political opinions should have no bearing on a game of baseball, have garnered national attention and have infuriated baseball fans, Cuban immigrants, and residents of Florida. Now the point here is that the Marlins manager, Ozzie Guillen, is decidedly not white, yet people are calling for him to be fired over these remarks that in all honesty don't even reach the "Hitler had some good ideas" level of political incorrectness. They want him to lose his career for saying he admires Castro, a comment so tame it wouldn't even get you a detention in high school. Believe me, I know.

So when these people say that only white people get in trouble for making racist/controversial remarks, where the fuck are they getting their news? Oh that's right, nowhere. Forget about the fact that the Reverend Wright (black guy) thing was a huge media frenzy that caused a giant controversy. Forget about the fact that Herman Cain (black guy) got in a shitload of trouble for harassing women. Forget about the fact that Ozzie Guillen (Venezuelan) can't manage a baseball team because he likes Castro. They forget about all these facts, and just rehash the same phobic cliches with other racists about how white people aren't allowed to criticize a minority anymore, and other dipshit statements like, "Pretty soon we won't even be allowed to speak English!" That's another gem. Half the fucking countries in the world speak English, how paranoid are you?

White males are the statistically most financially successful demographic in the country, so stop bitching. If the culture is a little more diverse, or understanding, or politically correct than it was in your idealized pre-Civil rights (or Civil War for that matter) American fantasy-land, deal with it. It doesn't even mean you're not free to be a racist anymore, it just means that a larger percentage of people these days will think you're an asshole.

And they're right.