Shit Like This Is Why I Don't Have The Patience To Be A Real Writer

So, this one time I submitted an idea for a piece on the new writer's section of the Cracked.com message boards. It was basically me bitching about zombie fanboys again, with the idea that I would do a list of apocalypse scenarios made famous by movies that would be scientifically way more likely to happen than a stupid zombie outbreak, backed up by whatever facts I could find with a ten minute Google search. One of the editors responded, and told me that my idea just looked like a list of apocalypse movies, and that here at Cracked.com they don't do articles that read like "here's 10 great cowboy movies, etc, etc".

 So today's top articles on cracked are:

• 6 Deleted Backstories That Totally Change Classic Movies
• 10 Brilliant Comedy Gems Hiding on YouTube
• 3 Past Box Office Hits That Prove January Movies Suck
• An Urgent Message to Guys Who Comment on Internet Videos
• If 'Django' Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest, and
• The 5 Most Badass Things Ever Done in the Name of Research

Now, I'm no mathematician, but out of today's top articles, 50% are just lists of movies/internet videos that fulfill certain criteria and 33% are commentaries on said movies/internet videos (one of which is a tounge-in-cheek synopsis of an already tounge-in-cheek Tarantino script), leaving only 17% (1) of today's top articles to tackle any subject that isn't about movies or internet videos.

So maybe I was aiming too high. Maybe instead of doing a list of apocalypse movies, I should have proposed a list of apocalypse movie YouTube mashups that would sync well with the Nyan Cat song. Because, you know, the only thing more interesting than watching YouTube mashups is reading serious critical commentary on YouTube mashups.

More Than Just Lists Of Movies... Sometimes.